


You don't have to?

by ReyDoneGoofed



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Redemption, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2019-10-11 20:47:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyDoneGoofed/pseuds/ReyDoneGoofed
Summary: Tony is struggling with the aftermath of the civil war, the rogue avengers have been back for weeks, everything should be back to normal right? Right?Relations at the tower after the rogue avengers were pardoned, has continued to stay pensive and tense at all times. Trouble in paradise reveals many thoughts and words left unsaid, healing is inevitable, but in order to heal they need to break once again.





	1. Once you say it outloud it can't be undone.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little thing I whipped up after reading far too much angst at far too early in the morning.
> 
> 10-11-19 Update: I've re-written the first chapter and am back to writing the others!

“Boss, it is 8:47 in the morning, it is a brisk 44 degrees Fahrenheit, you are currently in your bedroom at the Avengers Tower in Manhattan, New York. It has been exactly 38 hours and 15 minutes since the last you received nutrition. Ms. Romanoff and Mr. Barton are currently out on official SHIELD business in Bolivia, Mr. Wilson is conducting his daily group meeting, Dr. Banner and Mr. Odinson are in the communal kitchen, The witch and Mr. Vision are in the reading room, and Captain Rogers, as well as Sergeant Barnes, are in the gym. It has been 13 days since the rogue Avengers have returned,” An Irish lilt filled the voided air as Tony slowly crept towards full consciousness.

 

“Thanks, baby girl, what's on the agenda for today?” Tony shook the grogginess from his head, yawning, and stretching his arms, carefully moving out of his too-comfortable bed.

 

“You have a meeting with the board of directors for SI at exactly 10:15, I've noted you would like to be exactly 6 minutes late and will deny any messages from Ms. Potts until such time has occurred,” Friday’s refreshing voice did nothing to quell the pit that decayed in the billionaire's stomach, “At 12:30 you have a required training exercise with the other Avengers, followed by a meeting to determine what needs to be upgraded in the Avengers arsenal. If I do say so myself, boss, I believe it will be fun to deny their requests and sabotage the entire gym, preferably with fire,” The young AI’s voice held emotion that Tony had no idea she could carry at her current level of programming. 

 

Tony breathed a small laugh at Friday’s suggestion before walking into his bathroom for a much-needed shower. The genius winced at the sight from his mirror, sweat, and grime sticking like a disease to his skin, making him feel just as nauseating, as he felt. His lab binge showing fully on his exterior. With a displeased grunt Tony shed his clothes, shoving them in the nearby hamper before stepping into the warm spray of his luxurious shower, he silently thanked his AI for turning the shower on without him needing to ask, his throat was raw from being unused for days on end.

 

 

Twenty-eight minutes later, Tony was toweling off his damp clean skin and getting dressed. He quickly pulled on his signature black vested suite as well as his newest silver armor wristlets. 

 

“Boss, Captain Rogers, and Sergeant Barnes have moved into the kitchen with Dr. Banner and Mr. Odinson, we are also out of Pop-tarts,” Friday almost sounded agitated until the Pop-tarts were brought up, then the young AI sounded distraught. If he were still around, Jarvis would be proud. Shaking those thoughts from his head Tony focused on the task at hand; consume some food before he passed out from malnutrition.

 

“What would I ever do without you Fri?” Tony asked rhetorically, steeling himself for the encounter that would occur in due time.

 

“Perish horrifically in a lab experiment gone wrong boss, or die of sleep deprivation and malnutrition,” She stated quickly, a smug tone filling her overly cheerful voice.

 

“You could've just said crash and burn like any other respectable answer,” Tony quipped back with no real malice or hurt to his words. A fond smile breaking his face.

 

“Ah, but, boss, that would mean I was at all respectable,” She spoke.

 

“Well, at least you admit it,” Tony rolled his eyes as he stepped into his elevator, Friday automatically bringing him up to the communal floor. She played a song Tony loved during his trip.

 

His appearance was announced with a renowned ping! As the elevator doors slid open to quickly reveal the four enhanced individuals sitting at the counter. Tony almost staggered when all eyes fell onto him, two of which were hostile glares... If a blank stare could be counted as a hostile glare, the ex-Hydra assassin showing less emotion than a robot currently powered off. The real glare came from Rogers, Tony guessed he must still be angry with what happened after all. Bruce gave him a small nod while Thor all but cheered for the resident engineer's sudden arrival. Tony felt the sudden need to turn tail and run away from the two out-of-time soldiers.

 

“Friend Anthony! You haven't joined us for a meal in quite some time,” The blond god smiled with a vengeance, rooted in attempting to encourage his teammate's availability for team bonding nights. 

 

Tony was doing his best not to let the others take note of his trembling hands, a crack in his carefully construed walls. His signature media smirk plastered onto his otherwise weary face. 

 

“Stark, are the upgrades for the team’s armor complete yet?” Right to business with Steve, fine Tony could play this game, it's the game he knows best, after all. Before Tony could get a single remark in edgewise, Steve was continuing, “Clint’s been waiting on his arrowhead upgrades for a week now, same for Nat’s Widow bites, what if there was an emergency? They would be down their best weapons; these things need to take priority or-” 

 

Tony couldn't deal with this today, he turned and walked right out of the kitchen, ignoring the angry calls from Steve as he stepped back into the elevator, asking for Friday to take him to his lab.

 

“Blackout the lab Fri. Lemme know when I have to leave for Peppers meeting... until then, nothing short of the end of the world gets through to me,” Tony felt more exhausted than he ever has been, a long look at his locked up cabinet above his coffee maker left him feeling ashamed and guilt-ridden. The liquor cabinet had been locked up the day before the rogue avengers were scheduled to arrive, Rhodey had been afraid for his best friend and had taken matters into his own hands.

 

 

 

They weren’t even halfway through for the meeting for SI, but Tony was left feeling like the gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe, he felt emotionally raw, and his throat felt like he swallowed sandpaper. Pepper pulled him out for a quick one-on-one conversation during a short five-minute break, she was getting married. He hadn't even realized she was seeing someone- his hopes that they could work everything out and get back together were ruefully squashed like a sad, little, degraded roach under steel stilettos. He was inattentive at the meeting after that, too busy trying to figure out if he even really wanted to get back together with her, although, with his reputation, not a single person in that room thought his actions strange. Was he always that horrible at meetings? The thought only succeeded in making Tony feel nauseous.

 

 

Once he was back at the tower, he was quickly greeted by silence, everyone had moved on from the kitchen to their places of habit. He quickly retreated to his lab, not feeling particularly enamored with the idea of finding the others. It was when he’d been in his lab for over an hour when he realized someone was in the lab with him, and Friday hadn't alerted him. The inventor turned and caught sight of the shiny broken arm that he’d been dying to get a good look at since he first saw it. The only downside? The person attached to that arm. A scowling ex-hydra assassin sat on his lab-bed, a small couch covered in fluffy blankets and pillows, looking down at a Stark Phone he wasn't yet permitted to have. It was Rogers’ phone, judging by the American flag backplate built onto the device. 

 

“Snowflake, how are you?” Tony asked with false enthusiasm, trying his absolute best not to let the wariness show on his usually carefully built-up face. The nausea was getting worse, but he didn’t need to dwell on that quite yet.

 

“The arm requires maintenance,” Barnes stated objectively, his face as blank as it had been in the kitchen.

 

“Oh, right, yeah of course, where to Buckaroo?” Tony jokes in the attempt to calm down his nerves. It didn't work very well.

 

“Here.” If Tony didn't know who Barnes was, he’d take more notice in the offset expression on his face, the not-so-robotic blank stare that Tony had somehow grown used to.

 

“Okay, let me just grab some things and I'll be right over,” Tony nodded and turned to collect a few choice tools, setting them onto a small rolling table, “So, why isn't Friday answering me? Know anything about that?” He asked innocently.

 

“She-she wouldn't let me in,” The sheepish tone offset the image of the assassin that Tony held. Curiously the billionaire turned and took a glance at the assassin, taking note of his uncomfortable posture.

 

“Alright, fair, if I make sure she lets you in next time, will you tell me how you shut her down?” Tony asked, rolling the cart to stay next to the other man openly so that Bucky could see each tool that Tony was going to use.

 

See, Tony didn't hate the guy, alright? But he sure as hell didn't like him- How could he? Barnes killed his parents. If only it were so simple. Tony couldn't help but feel, not pity, but understanding for him. Bucky didn't choose to hurt anybody, not like this anyway. Tony knows what it feels like to be tortured, to have forced body modifications, and manipulated for years on end, after all. Barnes nodded to Tony's request after taking a short moment to consider the request.

 

“What’s our issue, Snowflake?” Tony asks going into his mechanic mode, attempting to block out the intrusive thoughts that were haunting his brain.

 

“Joints… The joints are stiff and- they won't move properly,” Bucky had a difficult time explaining, he remembers what would happen if he complained about the arm with the Hydra Technicians, It was never good, nor refutable.

 

It had taken weeks for Bucky to convince Steve to let him go to Tony for help with the arm, Steve was convinced Tony would deny his request, he wasn't entirely wrong, but Bucky refused to fault the inventor for his probable actions. That's when Natasha suggested going to Tony by himself or with one of the Avengers that Tony trusts. like Bruce or Thor. The spy suggested that, perhaps, it would be easier for Tony to work on the arm without both super soldiers hovering over him, Bucky happened to agree with that.

 

Barnes didn't think Steve hated Tony, he believed Steve feared how Tony thought of him now. To Steve, what he had done was right and just, but he did acknowledge that Tony was a victim in this as well. Of course, the idiot would never go to Tony and tell him this. Bucky almost rolled his eyes at his thoughts. The man had always been too stubborn for his good.

 

“Where's the main access panel?” Tony asked calmly, internally listing all the ways this could go wrong, while simultaneously listing all information he had already known about the barbaric piece of junk that was attached to Barnes.

 

“Backplate, underneath the shoulder ridge,” Bucky kept his expression cooled and neutral, if he showed Tony how nervous he was, the engineer would probably suspect ulterior motives, and Bucky would like to avoid that notion.

 

“Could you turn for me?” Tony politely asked, his voice clear, rough from misuse, but his tone remained soft for the benefit of the ex-assassin.

 

Bucky turned the way Tony needed him to.

 

“I’m… sorry,” Bucky's voice broke the silence that hung heavy in the air.

 

“What?” Tony stuttered to a pause, thinking he must have misheard the other man.

 

“I’m sorry, for Ms. Friday,” The maladjusted man informed diffidently.

 

“Uh, it’s- well it's not fine, but I know you didn't mean to do any real harm,” Tony sighed internally, wishing this conversation wasn’t currently happening.

 

“I didn’t think you’d see me,” Bucky admitted regretfully.

 

Those six words crushed Tony just a bit, was he really this horrible a person that everyone assumed the worst of him?

 

“I’m not gonna lie James, I probably wouldn't have,” Tony looked up at him apologetically, the admission surprisingly not making him feel any different than before.

 

Barnes stared at him, an indecipherable look across his face.

 

“You okay? Need to take a break?” Tony asked trying to mask any real concern. 

 

“You need to talk to each other,” Barnes suddenly said after a stretched moment of hesitation.

 

“What?” It seemed like Tony was saying that a lot lately.

 

“You and Steve, he doesn't hate you, he doesn't understand, and he's blinded by his own thoughts, but I think he wants to, he just doesn't know how you'll react. He's pushing you away and you’re pushing him right back. Maybe pulling might be a bit better? I don't know, metaphors are weird, and I've been talking for too long now,” Bucky quickly ended his small rant when he saw the expression on Tony’s face.

 

“I think that's the most I've heard you talk in one sitting Winter Wonderland. Uh, you don't have to stop, talk all you want, I talk too much all the time anyway, it’ll be a nice break from my voice,” Tony tries to joke to relieve the awkwardness between them, only causing Bucky to frown.

 

“No, you don't,” Bucky said with a questioning look to his face.

 

“Look, James, I can't talk to him, when we’re together we don't talk, we fight and argue. And, I hate to say this to ya, but all we’ve ever done in the past was push each other,” Tony explained.

 

“Dr. Banner said you two were friends… before I showed up,” Bucky let a guilt-ridden look overtake his face for a small fleeting moment, before smoothing it over.

 

“It didn't last, our ‘friendship’ was dying out way before you came along, you were just… the straw that broke the camel's back, if we're on the metaphor, simile train here,” Tony looked back down going back to working on the arm, “Besides, aren't you two a thing?” Tony asked.

 

“What does that have to do with this?” Bucky asked feeling confused again.

 

“Me and Rogers haven't ever been friends, not really. Friendly? Yeah sure, when we weren’t fighting, we were definitely somewhere over that friend line,” Tony smiled sadly.

 

“Oh,” Bucky looked towards a wall of pictures, they were all of Tony’s bots, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy, and the remaining Avengers, “That… explains a lot actually,” Barnes brought his flesh hand up to rub over his face, “Shit.”

 

“Yeah. I'm not gonna get in between you two, I'm not sure I even could-” Before Tony could continue his rant, he was quickly cut off.

 

“You could,” Bucky interrupted, “but, you don't have to?”


	2. This idea that I've grown used to.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Banner felt bile rise in his throat at the thought, Tony was right, he wouldn't have listened, he would have acted on instinct alone and so many more people would have gotten hurt in the crossfire. The other guy would’ve killed Tony and the others. Just the thought of that possibility made Bruce feel a little green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this draft saved for months now, but had forgotten about the fic entirely until only recently, I've made edits to the first chapter so feel free to go back if youd like!
> 
> Thank you so much to: starkbuckscappuccino (meganwastaken), Violetta (AmethystWonder), lokivsanubis, Britinvasion80, Mamelola, and pan2fel for giving me the inspiration and motivation to help me along with writing up this neat little thing. I appreciated all of your comments so much honestly they made me cry happy tears.

Heavy breathing filled the otherwise quiet room, two bodies pressed together. 

 

“Well, that was certainly-”

 

“Better than before the war.”

 

A breathy laugh was the only indication of a response. 

 

“I uh, I spoke to Tony,” Bucky looked over at his now pensive boyfriend.

 

“Could we not right now? I’d rather not talk about anyone after, well- that,” Steve looked over at Barnes with heavy eyes.

 

“He performed- he worked on my arm,” Bucky ignored the previous statement.

 

Steve sat up shaking his head and grabbing his shirt off the ground, quickly pulling it on.

 

“If you never talk about it, nothing will get better,” Bucky said watching him get dressed.

 

“But it doesn't need to be now, after that.”

 

“After what Steve? You can't even say it, if you think I'm so different from before, then you need a mirror,” Bucky quipped slowly, annoyance quickly spreading throughout his muscles like a thick dew. His voice didn't waver a beat.

 

“That is completely unfair,” Steve looked at him with hurt in his eyes, quickly pulling the rest of his clothes on.

 

“Maybe, but you need to listen, hear- hear Tony out, talk to him, you can't just- ignore him forever or-or berate him the moment you see him. Steve, you clearly still care for him and he still cares for you, but you two are just so alike- neither of you can see straight around the other!”

 

“Did Tony say that? That he still cares about me?” Steve asked, disbelief evident in his tone.

 

          “Well, no, not in those exact words, but-but it was implied,” Bucky did his best to try and reason with his emotionally blind boyfriend.

 

          “I thought so, look, Buck, you really shouldn't see Tony without me there to watch, he might do something,” Steve glanced towards Bucky with his best puppy-eyed look.

 

“What would he do Steve? What would Stark do that I or anyone else hasn’t already done to him in the first place?” By now Barnes had sat up.

 

“Bucky, I don't want to fight with you,” Steve said, shaking his head and walking out of the room slamming the door on his way.

 

“Dick,” Bucky grabbed a pillow and threw it at the door.

 

“I heard that!” Was his only reply.

 

“You were supposed to,” he glared in the direction he thought Steve went.

 

Bucky was certain that if he could just get Steve and Tony in the same room for more than thirty seconds they could talk and come to some sort of understanding with each other. He needed help, maybe a lot of it. With a sigh, he stood and methodically pulled on his clothes before walking out of his room as silently as a trained assassin should.

 

Bucky made his way to the common area with a plan, a short plan, but a plan, nonetheless. Bruce, Thor, and Natasha sat in the area watching some nonsensical movie, although the only one watching was Thor. Bruce was reading a book and Natasha was scrolling on her new Stark phone. She broke the last one on a mission to somewhere secret Budapest.

 

The ex-Hydra assassin made his way over to the love seat next to the couch that the other three were lounging on, Natasha had looked up and was now watching as he sat down, a manicured eyebrow raised in a silent question. 

 

          “Tony and Steve don't talk,” He stated simply.

 

          Bruce replied with a snort, “So far that is the greatest understatement of the year.”

 

Thor paused the movie and Natasha knitted her brows together in shown confusion.

 

“Tell us something we don’t know,” She stated simply, prying for more information before she could make a proper judgment on this conversation.

 

          “They could... get along again if- we could get them together, to talk,” Bucky swallowed thickly having forgotten how difficult it was to speak around the others.

 

          “Since when did you care about Steve and Tony’s comradery or lack thereof?” Natasha questions again.

 

          “No, I agree with James on this, we should do something about them both, it’s affecting the team during missions, and affecting them personally as well,” Bruce sighed closing his book after glancing at his page number.

 

          “Aye, but how will we get them together without trying to maim each other or us?” Thor asked.

 

          “I… have a plan,” Bucky looked at them hopefully.

 

          “Well, I'm all ears, Barnes, let's hear this plan,” Natasha turned to fully face him right before speaking.

 

 

 

After ample explanation and struggling through speech, Bucky finally was through his entire plan.

 

“That's a terrible plan,” Natasha spoke up.

 

“Might work, won't hurt to try,” Bruce reasoned.

 

“Have you met them?” Natasha looked over at the scientist with a pointed look.

 

“Might hurt a little,” Bruce corrected himself.

 

Bucky nodded, content with knowing he had support in his mission, he stood and quickly made his way out of the common room and to the elevator hall. The enhanced sound of footfalls letting him know he was followed out.

 

“Natasha,” He said turning to face her.

 

“Aren't you getting in the elevator?” She asks innocently pressing the button causing the doors to slide open.

 

“No,” He said, Bucky didn't trust her for a minute, the whole SHIELD spy thing kind of upsets a dangerous part of his brain, “What do you want.”

 

          “You never answered my question, I'll help you with your plan if you tell me why it exists. A reasonable exchange,” She nods watching him.

 

          “Steve’s- Steve still has-”

 

          “Steve still has what?” The said blond stepped out of another elevator, looking at Bucky with anger-filled eyes.

 

“Oh,” Natasha looked between the two super soldiers and filed the information she gathered away for later use.

 

“I’d rather not have this conversation again Buck, things with Stark get complicated quickly, he’s a loose cannon who only listens to himself,” Steve sighed.

 

“Yeah, sounds familiar,” Bucky shook his head and walked away, he’ll take the stairs.

 

“Trouble in paradise?” Natasha asks turning to Steve.

 

“Nat,” He says with a frustrated tone.

 

“Just a question Steve, need help?”

 

“No, I’ve got it under control,” He replies.

 

“That’s under control?”

 

Steve walked briskly away.

 

Natasha quickly entered the elevator, “Friday could you take me wherever Bucky has gone,” She asked.

 

“To the gym Ms. Romanov.”

 

As soon as the doors opened Natasha walked quickly into the gym.

 

“Bucky, I have an idea for that plan of yours,” She smiled.

 

“Okay?” He turned towards her stopping before his assault on the punching bags had truly begun.

 

“Clint has Sam’s number,” She began slowly, attempting to ease the other into her addition to the plan.

 

“No,” Bucky said with finality to his answer.

 

“No?” Natasha questioned.

 

“Not him, fucking hate that guy.”

 

“Steve values his opinion,” Natasha says trying not to let off how Bucky and Sam's feud was so very amusing to her.

 

“He probably has terrible opinions,” Bucky huffed childishly.

 

“Isn't fixing Steve and Tony’s relationship a higher priority than hating Sam?” Natasha goaded Bucky.

 

“Yes, ob- of course, it is,” Bucky said half offended that she would even attempt to doubt his resolve towards the matter.

 

“Then you're just gonna have to deal with him,” Natasha informed curtly.

 

 

 

It had been a week since Tony worked on Bucky's arm for him, their conversation still hung thick in the air of the workshop, making it heavy and hard to breathe. Tony had shut himself in his lab to think, to wrap his head around Barnes’ offer. Was it an offer? Or just a statement. Tony tried to work off the fog of confusion. He didn't know what to think about what Barnes said. Tony hasn't been this confused since, well he can't really remember a single time he’s been this confused. 

 

          “Boss, Dr. Banner is requesting permission to enter the lab,” Friday said, breaking him away from his thoughts.

 

          “Let him in Fri,” Tony responds wiping the drained tiredness from his eyes.

 

          “Tony, I haven't seen you in a while, Friday said you were working off some steam, so I tried to let you- Christ Tony, your lab is-”

 

          “I know, I know, I got a little carried away,” Tony cut him off not wanting to hear that word again. He knew he was a mess, he didn’t need someone else telling him, even if it was someone who’s opinion the engineer respected. Too often was that word or any variety of that word used to describe him, he wished it didn't hurt as much as it did, but Tony’s never been one to get what he wished for.

 

          “The others were wondering what you've been up to and when you'll be back on the surface,” Bruce informed, a hopeful look glistening his pinched gaze as he meandered about the cluttered space.

 

          Tony didn't answer him, he didn't have an answer to give. If it were up to the genius billionaire; he’d never leave his lab to face the others, he would simply become a hermit inventing and tinkering on his own time. Doing whatever he wanted, which he basically already did. 

 

          “You would have gone with them, right?” Tony spoke after a prolonged moment of silence, quickly derailing the conversation to a much darker subject.

 

          “What are- went with who?” Banner asked confused, pulling a chair over to sit next to Tony.

 

          “S- Rogers, you would have sided with him over the accords,” Tony stated easily as if there was no other option possible for Bruce’s theoretical actions.

 

          “What? No, Tony, I would have listened to you, heard you both out before making any decisions,” Bruce attempted to reason, fully believing his own words.

 

          “No, you would've heard Ross’ name on my side of the accords and you would have joined Steve faster than I could explain my plan,” Tony looked up to meet Bruce's eyes with his own, hurt and resignation lying behind tired brown eyes.

 

          Banner felt bile rise in his throat at the thought, Tony was right, he wouldn't have listened, he would have acted on instinct alone and so many more people would have gotten hurt in the crossfire. The other guy would’ve killed Tony and the others. Just the thought of that possibility made Bruce feel a little green. 

 

          “I-” Bruce didn't even know where to begin.

 

          Tony turned and looked back at the holographic screen on his desk, lines and lines of code he couldn't remember the purpose for sat glaring back at him like a rudimentary broken stick. The two scientists sat in silence before eventually being bathed in the softest rock the lab has ever heard. Friday ever a good helper in setting the mood. 

 

“You're right, as always, the other guy wouldn't let me make the reasonable decision, and you would have never been able to fix the mess that all of us inevitably would’ve created, one that would have been much harder to fix than Steve’s current mess, but then again there's always the option that you're wrong, that I’d have listened to or heard out your plan before it got that far, and nothing bad would have happened with the other guy. Of course, we’ll never know since it never happened. There's no point thinking too heavily on what-ifs Tony, someone very smart told me that once,” Bruce smiled at his friend, hoping that his words helped ease the other's pain if only a little bit.

 

“Maybe,” Tony mumbled still lost in thought, his new normal as of late.

 

“Tony, everyone’s worried about you, even the superspies are getting worried,” Bruce informed.

 

“Really? Natasha or Clint being worried about me? No, maybe Natasha, possibly, but not Clint,” Tony refused to believe this.

 

“You’d be surprised at how fast people change their opinions once their heads clear,” Bruce sighed, “Tony, you and Steve both have been acting like teenagers, you need to talk to him, you both need to talk. The team is suffering more than you think from the absence of two of their best members,” Bruce spoke a casual plea evident in his voice. 

 

Tony almost laughed at that, for Bruce to refer to him as one of the best members of the team, no, nope, impossible, there are others infinitely better than he. Tony shakes his head.

 

“Why not? Talk to me here Tony, I can't help if you refuse to tell anyone what’s going on inside that head of yours,” Bruce asked watching Tony sink lower.

 

“We were never anything official, there were no real feelings there,” Tony said bitterly, “I thought there were, but obviously I was wrong, everyone leaves, Pepper left, Rhodey, even you, Steve leaving shouldn't have surprised me at all, but it did. It hurts to be in the same room as him, to hear his voice, it hurts so damn much,” Tony spoke quietly, his usual gusto completely gone.

 

“Oh, Tony,” Bruce said, sympathy flooding his eyes, heartbreak was something the scientist could understand. People abandoning him was something that Banner could understand completely, memories of when his accident first occurred and the other guy came into existence, the friends he lost, the family, the love, all those memories came into focus for the first time in a long time. 

 

Bruce understood Tony’s fear and pain all too well. The worst part, Banner thought, was that everyone on the team could understand too. Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Clint, Thor; they had all lost people, all had people who turned their backs on them, people they all thought they could trust. Bruce could almost laugh at how awfully similar they all were to each other.

 

“I can't do this Bruce, I can't pretend like nothing happened between us like we weren't together before Bucky came back,” Tony said, the pain of the last few months evident in his glossy eyes.

 

“Then don't,” Bruce said simply.

 

“I have no right, Steve was never truly mine, to begin with, I have no right to grieve over losing something I never had,” Tony said, the hollow thought grating on each word.

 

“Tony, somehow I doubt Bucky or even Steve would agree with that,” Bruce spoke softly, hoping that the rest of Bucky's crazy plan would work out, he never wanted to see this pain in his friend ever again. He knew that the small spark of hope in Tony’s eyes would absolutely ruin him if shattered again.

 

**_Nothing killed a man faster than hope._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are amazing and so is every person who gave this fic the time of day to read over!
> 
> Wow, Nats kinda a bitch in this fic, whoops.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the read!  
> Comments and Kudos help my brain a lot! They always make my day!


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